Oh-uh..

Astaghfirullah... I have neglected this blog and forgot that I vowed to keep a note of every inkling thought, hope and reflection I have regarding the holy pilgrimage.

I have finished reading MKI's 50 Tip Motivasi Haji and am still struggling to finish off Khadijah, Cinta Abadi Kekasih Nabi (Dr Muhammad Abdul Yamani).

I have now attended 5 courses organised by Tabung Haji, Alhamdulillah.  Every week I am given hope and inspired to do better (yet I still am not). 

Among the things I aspire to do are to don the socks, as a means to cover my aurat.  I would also like to be like Saidatina Khadijah, who was strong-willed and strong-faithed.  In action, I should fast and perform my solat Dhuha more regularly, as He blesses us who seek help from Him.
 
This is all for now.  I hope to come back real soon!!

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

It all began on a warm Thursday afternoon when I walked into the Tabung Haji office in Kelana Jaya.  I had been frequenting it for the past few weeks - depositing some money into the children's accounts, getting the form to report the loss of my account book and also inquiring about making an appeal regarding my hajj.  Finally, I had come with a letter for the appeal, along with the completed form for the replacement of my savings account book.

I took two tickets, as advised by the lady attendant.  To my advantage, there were not many customers waiting to be attended, despite the number of cars in the parking lot.  As my number flashed on the LCD screen, I walked up to the counter and presented my letter to the officer in charge.  She read it and then told me that my appeal was accepted.

Accepted? What? Just like that? Wasn't my letter going to be sent to a panel to be evaluated and reviewed amongst the other hundreds or thousands of desperadoes? Did she just say my appeal was accepted?

I was then told that the acceptance of my letter of appeal did not mean that I had got a place to perform the hajj!  Ahhhh... talk about misunderstandings! 

Well, the lady went on to tell me that meanwhile, I was required to attend the Hajj courses LTH had arranged at the designated mosques during weekends.  I also have the option of going with the Mu'asassah or a private package, even though the chances are not made better with any package I take!

That day, I headed home beaming and elated.  I texted two friends, informing of the superb news.  Suddenly, I was filled with hope and love.  I felt something I had never felt for soooo long! Subhannallah... He is opening His doors for me and giving me another chance to repent and repent.  I have sinned and not carried out my responsibilities as required.  

I shall continue praying and reading as preparation for the journey towards His blessings.  I seek His forgiveness and guidance...